When Your Darkest Loss Becomes Your Ministry, with Samantha Watson

Miscarriage can shatter your world in minutes, and sometimes it happens in a place you never expected. I sit down with Samantha Watson, a military wife and mom, as she tells the story of her 2015 pregnancy loss while stationed far from family and still building community. She shares the moment joy turned to grief, the trauma surrounding the miscarriage, and the faith in Jesus Christ that held her up when she had no strength left.

We also talk about the part people rarely prepare you for: how others respond. Some want to help but freeze because they do not know what to say, while others unintentionally minimize early pregnancy loss. Samantha and I unpack why miscarriage grief is real, what “grief brain” feels like, and why “text me if you need anything” can be impossible for a grieving parent. You will hear practical ways to support someone after child loss, including simple acts like meals, childcare, and steady presence.

Samantha explains the worship and Scripture habits that helped her survive those early days, including listening to the Bible when reading felt overwhelming. She also shares how she talked with her children about the loss using John 10:10, and how God later redeemed her pain into purpose. That purpose includes her new podcast, Simple Devotions for Children, created to help Christian moms and families build faith at home with easy, engaging devotionals.

If this conversation helps you, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a rating or review so more grieving parents and supporters can find it.

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Transcript

Welcome And Guest Setup

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, everyone, and welcome back. I'm Greg Bufkin, your host, and I'm so glad you could join us today to hear an uplifting conversation I recently had with Samantha Watson, as she shares her story of loss, the impact that it's had on her life, and how her relationship with Jesus Christ has carried and sustained her on this long journey. Samantha is now the host of her own recently launched podcast called Simple Devotions for Children, which you'll be hearing about a little later in our conversation. And now here is my conversation with Samantha. Well, hi, Samantha. Welcome to our podcast. I've been looking forward to having you as my guest today.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Thank you so much for having me, Greg. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Yeah, I appreciate you being willing to take some time out of your schedule to share your story with our listeners. But before we dive into it, why don't you take a couple of minutes and just tell us a little bit about you, you know, things like where you live, your husband, children, anything that you want to share.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Okay, well, thank you. Yeah, my name is Samantha Watson, and currently we are living in Mississippi because my husband's he's in the military, so he's about to be retired soon. So that's a great 20 years. We're originally from Hawaii. I've been able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

And thank you for your thank you guys both for your service, by the way, because if you're a wife of a serviceman,

Samantha’s Life As A Military Wife

SPEAKER_01 1:24

you are serving also. I didn't mean to interrupt, but I couldn't let that pass.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Yes, and thank you. And what an honor. You know, we've been able to build so many relationships with in different churches and friends, you know, across the country because of this opportunity. So it's really been truly a blessing for us, really, truly, and seeing hot God's hand through all of it as well. So, but yeah, we were born and raised in Hawaii and, you know, God led us on this journey. So my husband and I were both um from the same town. We were, we graduated from the same high school the same year, but we were not high school sweethearts. So we met after high school, and then, you know, and this is part of our story. I mean, you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Well, thanks for sharing that. I appreciate that. I think I think listeners always want to know just a little bit about a guest, just so that it kind of helps connect better, you know?

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Well, so why don't we do this? Let's start with just stepping back in time a bit. Uh, it's been several years, but why don't you just share with us a little bit about how your grief journey started, Samantha?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Well, you know, it's kind of like some of those things that you're not really expecting it to happen, you know. Yeah. Well, when my husband and I found out that we were pregnant, this was in 20, 2015. And, you know, it wasn't like that we were not wanting a child, but it was like we were like, oh, it was like a surprise, you know. We were coming home from one of uh events actually that the military had hosted. And I was just like really, really sick that weekend, and I was I just couldn't figure it out. And then come to find out, you know, we were pregnant. And we're like, okay, like,

The Pregnancy Surprise And Loss

SPEAKER_00 3:22

you know, at that time we had an eight-year-old and uh and a five-year-old, you know. So just that gap. But yet we're like, okay, well, I guess this is the season, you know, this will be the time to like okay. And within a month, like just that joy of expecting, you know, something that maybe were not we were not expecting, but it was like, it's like, okay. Within a month, it shifted, you know, from this joyful expectation to sorrow and grief that sometimes you just don't understand and you know have all these questions because shortly after we had found out that we were pregnant, within, like I said, within the the next month, we had at that point already were in the process of losing and I'm going through a miscarriage.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

Yeah, and remind me, how long ago was this Sanantha?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

So this was in August 2015. Yeah. So that's kind of like when it all was happening for us. Yeah. We were, we were not around family, like I mentioned earlier, we're a military family. So we were, we were in Kentucky actually, and new to the town, new to this, you know, the church that we were going to, we were just starting to go and attend the church that we were at. Maybe like month, maybe like six months, if that. And and then, you know, in August, that was when all this happened. But just not even having family around, you know, was my husband and my two kids, you know, because that even compresses and increases the grief and the sadness for sure.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

I'm sh I'm sure it does. And that's again, one of the sacrifices that that so many military families make that often goes unseen, is you know, you're quite often stationed somewhere where there is no family, you have to you have to create new relationships. But then knowing that maybe somewhere just a short ways, you know, down the road, you're gonna have to move again. And when you go through something like this, through the loss of a child, regardless of how it happens, miscarriage, stillbirth, or later in their lives, it's still a time when we need people around us. We need support, we need encouragement, because it's so easy to get isolated when things like that happen, isolated in our grief and in our pain. And that makes it, as you said, an even tougher place to be. And I know that when you and I talked several weeks ago, you shared that not only did you have a miscarriage, but the events surrounding that miscarriage were pretty traumatic just because of how it happened and where it happened. A lot of times we think that things like that happen in a nice, sterile environment like the hospital, or it happens at home. But that's not the case with you guys. And I don't want you to feel like you have to go into too much, too many details, Samantha, but just for our listeners' benefit, yeah. Tell us a little bit about that day.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Yeah, for sure. And, you know, I'm just gonna allow the God the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me because if this could benefit anybody, you know, because it's definitely sometimes not the easiest, of course, we know not easy to go through, you know, and thinking that we're all alone or all by ourselves, especially like you mentioned military families, you know, that particular day. I know it was like a it was a Friday, and the only reason why I knew that is because we were at prayer. But three days before that, we had gone to the OBGIN and she mentioned that she couldn't hear the heartbeat of the baby anymore. She couldn't find it. And she said, Well, you know, I and she really encouraged us. It was, it was such a different experience in

The Miscarriage That Happened At Church

SPEAKER_00 7:32

that sense. Um, she was very encouraging and not to give us false hope, but just saying, you know, you have a decision that you can make. You can definitely go through this DNC where you can, you know, get it done with because this is what I'm hearing in the natural, you know, I'm not hearing a heartbeat, but it's totally up to you because, you know, because she understood that we were, I was like, we were believing God that it was gonna, you know, like something was wrong with it. Well, th we just kind of waited it out, you know, hasn't decided to wait it out because we couldn't bear the fact that when you actually do a DNC, it's like you're having maybe an abortion or something, you know, like we were like, no, we're just not gonna do that. That was a personal decision that we had made. Um, I know everybody's situation is different, but we were just like, no, like we're healthy, like I'm not gonna do that. So three days later, we was at prayer. I just, you know, we was having prayer at the church, and we went in and I was, you know, just telling the Lord, I'm walking my feet, I'm gonna trust you. I'm I'm not sure because what's happening, I can't see everything. But the moment that prayer got done, the moment that I stepped out of those double doors of the church, I just felt something like in within my gut just fell. And I just like within me and I knew it. And I grabbed my husband and he just he knew he looked at me and I really felt like, you know, felt like this big golf ball was just stuck. Like I just felt it. And I said, you know what? I looked at him and I and my two kids were there with me, and I said, I need to go to the bathroom. That space, that's all I told him. And he knew because he knew within my eyes, like what I was probably facing. And I didn't want to make an uproar, you know, because there are people around and I didn't want to draw any attention to us. So we went to the bathroom because I was familiar with the area. And so we went in and I was so thankful the door was unlocked.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Because everybody was just leaving, you know, like, well, anyways, the door was unlocked. And so we went into the bathroom and, you know, we just kind of told our kids, hey, you know what? Just they had a little daycare area. So we said, yeah, just go over there and play. So they kind of was familiar with that too. And then my husband and I went into the bathroom. And the moment that I went in there, I mean, it just, I mean, just everything came out. I mean, it was like the most gut-wrenching. And you just feel with all these emotions. You know, while we was in the bathroom, I I mean, as a mother, I was thinking if I scream on how I really feel on the inside, my my little kids are gonna hear and they're gonna, I don't want to traumatize them.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

You know. So as mothers and parents, like sometimes we make those decisions of like protecting, you know. So I think it was more like a protective factor for me, for my kids, the boys, because they were so young. You know, so I just I sat there and I just I screamed, but within myself and I grabbed my husband, I I just screamed with, you know, in him. Like I was leaning against him and I was screaming. But this was something that, you know, subconsciously, I was like, I didn't know what to do. So my husband was like, what are we gonna do? Because I mean, thankfully I was able to release all those things that was within me in the toilet, you know, but I was just like, I couldn't. I couldn't, I was like, no, don't flush it. And I literally stuck my hand in there and I grabbed the baby up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Can't imagine.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

I just couldn't do it. Like I just, I felt like I, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't do it. And I grabbed it and I held it in my hand and my husband just looked at me and I was like, I can't, I can't do it. Like I, I, I couldn't just flush it, you know. I I I just couldn't. And you know, at that moment, right, what God showed me, like that's how He is. Like in our mess, that's why I think I responded that way, because I knew, like, just because, you know, yes, maybe our baby had already gone to heaven. And but I like, that's how God is for us. Like, He's not gonna just waste us away and say, you know what, you've done you did all this mess. I'm gonna flush you away. No, He'll come in there and He will come and get us. And I think that's what I had imagined, and that's why I did that. My husband was like, I can't believe he just did that. You know, I'm thinking about my kids that are physically there, and then I'm looking at what we're going through. I'm like, I couldn't imagine just flushing them away. You know, like that was, I think, all that was running to my head, all the emotional, yeah, emotions for sure.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Wow. Yeah, I can't imagine, Samantha. What an incredible testimony of your faith and your relationship with the Lord and of his faithfulness in that moment to just let you, to remind you of of how he sees us and how he does meet us in those very dark places in our lives when it seems like you know, the rest of the world will just flush us or toss us away, wouldn't want to have anything to do with us. God doesn't do that. He meets us in our deepest points of need, and he just showers us with his love and grace and mercy. You know, something I wanted us to touch on because I think very often when a woman has a miscarriage, particularly when it's relatively early into the pregnancy, I think there's a tendency in our culture to dismiss the reality of her grief and her suffering. Because she, you know, they see it as well, you know, you never got to really meet the baby, you didn't get to develop a relationship. And, you know, and all those things that you know that people have a tendency to use to dismiss it.

unknown 13:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

I know you know what I'm talking about. We experience two miscarriages, so we we do have some understanding of that process and that loss. Regardless of when a child dies,

When Miscarriage Grief Gets Dismissed

SPEAKER_01 13:44

whether they're still in in your womb or whether they're 26 years old, part of that parent dies. And the grief that we experience is literally impossible to explain to somebody else who hasn't been there. What was it like for you after this happened, particularly as it relates to other people and how they reacted to your loss? Did you feel comfortable sharing that with other people for fear that they wouldn't understand? Or did you have people in your life that you know that you could share that with? And they and they were very gracious and supportive and understanding?

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Yeah, I mean, I think it was both, right? Because I was we were still building trust and relationship in a community that we just got to. So yeah, there was one particular woman that once we had exited the building, she was right there, literally like in the parking lot. She was the only person that was in the parking lot. And she said, I saw you go in that building. And the Holy Spirit told me to stay right here, which was such a perfect moment. And right there, you know, in all my sadness and my grief, you know, I just I asked her if she could take our boys because we needed to go to the emergency room because of all the blood that I lost. And, you know, and I think that pivotal moment because I didn't really know her that well. But when she told me, when she was telling me that, you know, the Holy Spirit told her to stay right there, I felt comfortable enough to share with her. And when I shared with her, I just, you know, she didn't know that I was pregnant either. And I just said, I just lost my baby. That's all I could tell her. And I just started crying. She goes, You said enough. She goes, I know I'm here. She goes, and I didn't, I didn't even ask her. She goes, let me take your boys. She goes, I'll take them. I'll take them home with me. And whenever you want to come and get them. And and then she said, but she prayed with us. You know, we sat in the parking lot and she says, Let me pray for you real quick. And I just remember and I just said, Lord, like, only you could do this, really, you know, because I didn't have to say much, but she could see it in our eyes and she could see like just me physically. So I think I know that helped immediately. That because I mean, really, my husband and I, I mean, I know I felt in a sense alone, not saying that my husband wasn't there, but I'm like, we don't even have family. Like, who's gonna take our kids? Because after that happened, I was like, what are we gonna do? You know, like all those questions. And when we walked out and she was still there, I was like, oh, like and and I just I said, Lord, you you knew every detail, you know, like you already knew what we needed, you knew what we were gonna, what we were going through. So, yes, so I definitely, you know, had that immediate support, not knowing that she was there because the whole parking lot was empty except for her. Right.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Don't you love how at just the right time, at different points in our life, God strategically places somebody like that that we couldn't have even thought about asking for. But he just, he just does that. And I I love, I love that about him. And I know you guys will never forget that that lady.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Never, you know, and I just knew it was like an immediate connection. I mean, and she's still one of like a really good friend of mine, even to today, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

I'll bet she is. I'll bet she is. What a treasure.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

But that was one, you know, instance. And then on the flip side, you know, there were some people that knew that we were we were pregnant. And I think, you know, honestly, Greg, I think some people just don't know what to say. They really don't. They don't know how what would comfort us because one, they might not really know us. And then on the flip side, if they do know us, they don't want to say the wrong thing because maybe their family or their longtime friends, right? They don't because like you said, they've may might have not gone through that. And quite honestly, sometimes I just felt like just them being there or being there to listen, you know, and of me sharing was helpful. Right and just allowing that space to just not knowing how long it was gonna take for us to go through that or maybe stop talking about it where it's so painful, you know, or but you know, kind of like when it's early, because we were about in the first trimester and heading into the second trimester. So yeah, you know, but all these thoughts of like, hmm, what now, like going forward, right? You're thinking, my baby would have been 10. Or, you know, like what would life would have been like, you know, so you still in a sense miss, feel like you're gonna miss out on something, or like you failed. And that's what the enemy wants us to think, like our body malfunctioned, or we were bad about something, or we, you know, were not good enough. Our body wasn't good enough. And those are the thoughts that were kind of like flooding, I know from my mind, like maybe because I had, you know, this is God's repaying me for sin that I've done in the past, and I was, you know, this, that, and the other. But that's not the God that we serve, you know, anything that's contrary, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

Those are the things that those those are the thoughts that the enemy plants within us to make us question ourselves, to make us question God. You know, when you're when you're not in such an emotional state, when you're not in so much pain and in shock, you can later look back and say, yeah, that was the voice of the enemy. Because you're right. That's not the God that we know and love and serve. Right. But the enemy would love to shift all of that out so that because it, you know, he could keep us in a place where we stayed broken. That's not where the Lord wants us to stay. So when you look back at those early weeks and months afterwards, Samantha, if if you could speak to somebody right now who's listening, maybe they haven't experienced the death of a child, but they know somebody who has. Maybe they're a friend or a family member. And and like you described, and we've talked about so many times on with other guests, they don't know what to do, they don't know what to say, and sometimes as a result of that, they just completely pull back and do nothing. And that's not really the answer either. Because sometimes as they pull back, to us it feels like betrayal. And so what would you say to that person today, as somebody who has been

Practical Help That Actually Helps

SPEAKER_01 20:44

walking that grief journey for 10 years now? What are some things that you would suggest? You know, we don't we typically stay away from giving advice when it comes to grief because everybody's experience is so unique. But there are several things that are universal when it comes to the loss of a child. So what would you say to that person who really does want to help? What are some things that you found helpful?

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Quite honestly, just listening or I mean, I know what happened. One of my family members, because we were so far away, you know, I'd even tell one of my family, I mean, I told my parents what had happened, you know, on over the phone because, you know, I needed to because I already told them that we were pregnant. Now we have to tell them that we were unpregnant, you know? And anyway, I yeah, just even going through that like that was hard. But yet, you know, I remember my mom just saying, you know, I'm I'm sorry you're going through this and, you know, I don't I don't want you to feel like you're alone, you know. And she just kind of just gave me that space. I said, Mom, I just I I gotta go. And well, and then she shared, I I she asked me if it was okay for me to share with my, you know, with my siblings and their, you know. And their spouses. And I said, Yeah, that's fine. Cause I just I didn't want to have to have that conversation.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

You know, right now. But, you know, I remember like my my sister-in-law, like she actually just she sent me a box that was so sweet, you know, and like all the stuff, like, and it just not it wasn't about the thing. It was just like, I'm thinking about you. You know, I know that, you know, maybe your kids are gonna want this, or like she was just sending me things that she knew that I loved, you know, because I was at home for the whole week because I was going through, you know, taking the medications that I need to and all that stuff. So, and not only that, but like just processing all of that, you know. But I think for me was that was so, even though if I, you know, maybe later I thanked her, but just knowing that, not that I didn't want to thank her right away, but I think even those gestures, but knowing that I had little kids, I know at one time somebody had brought us like food because oh, the lady that was there in the parking lot.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Really?

SPEAKER_00 23:04

And she didn't ask, she just came to my house because she knew it was home, you know. And she goes, because I know, you know, maybe you gotta cook for your kids, but you know, here. And she said, she didn't ask for anything. She did, she just said, I, you know, and I just looked at her and I was like thinking, thank you, because I need to still feed my kids, you know what I mean? Like, and I just didn't have the emotional capacity to even do that, you know. Like I just not that I didn't want to feed my kids, but just me going through that motion, you know, of like what am I gonna do? How am I gonna feed my kid? What am what's for dinner tonight? Like, what's for breakfast? You know, any anything of those things, you know.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Yeah, those things are hard when you're grieving. Because, you know, as we've talked about so many times on this podcast, it's the the everyday things of life that you know we all take for granted. You know, it's you you go to the grocery store if you need something, you go to the drugstore if you need a prescription or whatever it is. And you just, it's just you don't even have to really think about it so much. You just do it. But when you're when you have grief brain, because there is really a real thing called brief brain. Brief. I I'm sorry. We also have grief tongue where we can't speak sometimes, like now. But grief brain is a little like having COVID brain that we talked about so many times four or five years ago when we were in the middle of all of that. But to do the normal things, washing the dishes, fixing a meal, and even having to think about that, it's just it's another heavy thing weighing on your heart and on your mind. And when somebody does what that lady that you described did, she just showed up. She knew you guys had to eat. She knew you had children, and you weren't really in a place to be able to do that. And she showed up with food. And that's what we want people to understand who haven't been through it, is that we don't know how to tell people what we need, because often we get that question. Or we they'll people will say something like, you know, if you need anything, just give me a call or text me. Or if you need to talk, call me, text me. But we don't have the capacity to do that when we're in that early season of grief. We just can't do it. So you're gonna have to take the initiative in that other person's life. And that is an incredible example of how to do it right. I also wanted to ask you too, when you look back, what were some things? What were some resources, whether it was books or videos, podcasts, whatever it might have been that that helped you in those, particularly that first year?

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Yeah. Well, quite honestly, I didn't I didn't know about podcasts, but I think your podcast is a great one, you know, to help to encourage others. I I didn't know about those things, right?

SPEAKER_01 26:18

No, I didn't either.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

So yeah. So just sitting in that, but you know what I what I what my normal response is when I go through something really heavy, is really I just sit and I listen to worship songs. I played my same playlist, you

Worship, Scripture, And Telling The Kids

SPEAKER_00 26:36

know, something that I knew that would help to get me back on track, you know, whatever that is, because it's in these moments, like you shared earlier, when you're now looking back, and sometimes we think, oh, nothing's happening. You know, I'm good at this stage now, right? But these are the moments that God wants us to have our plan, in a sense, right? Meaning when things happen, what is my go-to? And that's kind of like what I had I did. I listened to my worship song over and over and over again because I knew that, you know, those were the songs for me that helped me to recenter myself and focus. I couldn't even hardly read my Bible because that's how much grief brain you have. And, you know, just that emotional capacity to not be able to read. So I would actually listen to the Bible. You know, I play. I had CDs, one of my friends, she bought it for me like years before. And I said, Well, faith comes by hearing the word of God. So I'm I can't read it. Like, not that I didn't want to, but it was just so exhausting on the inside.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Right. And I would lay there and I would listen, just listen to the word. I would play. Well, now we have all these great technology, right? You can listen to so many messages, and that's what I would encourage people to do because that's what the enemy wants us to do is like you said earlier, isolate, right? Not in solitude, but he wants us to solely isolate ourselves from the world, from everybody. And I believe that's what gave me the strength to do what I needed to do. And also, like, you know, I we needed to share with our kids, you know, I needed to share with them because they knew that we were pregnant as well. They had no idea what we were going through. They just knew, like, all of a sudden, they see mommy laying in the bed, just like sad all the time, you know, and then it was maybe like a day or two after, maybe two days after, I was telling my husband, we have to tell them, you know, but I didn't know how to tell them. And I didn't want my grief and my pain to come out in that because I was not upset at God. Because I knew that they were gonna ask, like, why would God do that? You know, so even having to explain this situation to our kids, you know. So I always I kind of went back and John 10, 10, like really resonated for me at that moment, right? Because the enemy comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy. But Jesus came to give us life and life more and abundant to enjoy life. So any, that's like the dividing line, that there's no gray area. So something came to steal, to kill, and to destroy. I knew already that's like that's the enemy. So anything then that was was that's what was happening to us that something stole, it killed and was trying to destroy us, you know, or me. And it already, you know, took our child. Sure. You know, so with that being said, I needed to frame that for my kids and how I was gonna share with them because how we as parents deliver messages to our children matters. And it'll stick with them, right? So I did. We shared with our kids and I and I told them, hey, you know what? Remember, mommy told you that we were gonna have a baby, and they were excited about it. And I said, Well, I said, you know how the Bible, and I literally rehearsed that Bible. I said, the enemy comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy. And they go, yes. And I said, but Jesus came to give us life, right? I said, so so I kind of rehearsed it with them. I said, who came to steal, to kill, and to destroy? And they said, the enemy, and you know, I said, okay, so let's make that clear. So when I shared with them what had happened, I mean, my boys, like I said, they were eight and five, and they're like, they loved like the Avengers and all that, you know, during that season and Power Rangers and all that. So yeah. And I said, so I had to explain to them. But just so that they knew it wasn't, it wasn't God. God didn't take our baby, God didn't do this to my He doesn't do that. He doesn't do that, but He'll use this situation for to strengthen us because and that's what I realized now. I said, that was, you know, he used that situation for for our good, you know, and maybe this is something good that maybe can encourage someone else. You know, I'm 10 years into this, so it wasn't like it just happened yesterday. So whoever is listening, right? So it was a journey, but yet I was saying, okay, Lord, I know that's that's a scripture, that's a dividing line. So when you get that and you start hearing that, but it came up, not that I was listening to it in the, you know, in the CD, but when as I was listening to the word, that word of John 1010 came up for me, right? So as we surround ourselves with the atmosphere, right? So if we continue to stay in that grief, you can't, you're gonna, it's gonna get deeper, right? You're gonna stay deeper in that. So I knew that I needed to hear something because I could feel the heaviness and we can feel that. So, how do you break that heaviness? I couldn't even pray. I couldn't, but I said, if I play something where the atmosphere of what's heavy can hear that this is my cry, like this worship song, these Bible scriptures. So it started cutting away and making it feel a little bit lighter, right? Because it's so heavy. And a lot of times we think, oh, well, just sit here in silence. Yes, that that helps sometimes, not saying you don't have to, but when you're so heavy and you feel this heaviness, this spirit of heaviness, because that's what comes with grief and you know, and sadness, it's the spirit of heaviness. No, God wants us to uplift that with praise and with worship and hearing his word. And it started to lift. And that's how I started to hear, and that's how I started to regain my strength. So hopefully that, you know, maybe helps someone. Don't sit in there where you're just you feel that heaviness and you can't move and you can't, and I knew it was just that weighing down of what the enemy was trying to do to bombard me and you know, keep us in that moment. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

Yeah. And one one very important principle that comes out of all that you just shared, and man, what an incredible testimony, Samantha. What I mean, that's a you you've got a lot of wisdom for for a young woman. And I appreciate you sharing that because I know that's going to help somebody. There is a difference between isolation and just wanting some solitude at times. So I appreciate you you differentiate differentiating that for our listeners. It's it's great to find solitude at times when you can sit and think and and maybe just sit there with the Lord and talk with him, listen to worship music. But it's another to get isolated. That's where you can get in trouble. And so we would just encourage anybody who's in a place like that to allow some trusted people into your life and to share it with them so that you don't feel isolated. The other thing that I took out of that is that you were describing this, but you didn't really say it. And that is you already had these very helpful practices into your daily routine. And when I say healthy practices, I mean your relationship with the Lord was an active, ongoing, daily relationship. You were spending time in the word, you were spending time in prayer, you had fellowship with other people. And when you guys got broadsided by the worst thing that a parent can ever even begin to imagine, you weren't completely destroyed by it. Because you you already knew

Isolation Versus Solitude In Grief

SPEAKER_01 34:44

scripture. You already knew what God had said is truth, and that's what you needed was truth. You needed to know that God was there with you in that moment, and that he was gonna carry you through, not to the other side because there is no other side to it, but forward in your journey, that he was gonna go with you through that journey and still does today, ten years later. That's really important for people who are listening today to just have those practices in place because you never know what a day is gonna bring. Nobody's ever prepared for what Samantha experienced that day.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

We also both know that that God has this remarkable way of redeeming the absolute worst for good. Right. Usually we don't get to define that or choose that or figure out how that's gonna happen. He's quite capable of doing that himself. And so sometimes he surprises us. And so I want you to tell us about how he did that in your life because I know one of the evidences of that is that a couple of months ago, you started a brand new podcast. And so I would love for you to tell our listeners about that so that perhaps they can take advantage of it.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Yeah, thank you for allowing me this opportunity. So, yes, December 1st, I had launched a podcast, and that was purely out of obedience for sure. It's called Simple Devotions for Children. And really, what that the whole point of that is it's easy and engaging resources for Christian moms who are lacking time and energy. And I've been had the privilege to be serving in children's ministry for over 20 years now. Over 20 years. I don't even yes. And and how God showed me to that a lot of times, like even in our grief moments, we need to help ourselves kind of like get out of that. But like, how do we, you know, minister to our children, right? So this podcast that I have like on Mondays, well, the first week, it's really to encourage the moms because a lot of things, it starts with us, right? It starts with us, and not saying with not the fathers, but because I'm a mother and you know, I can speak to this. Or we're gonna go through some of our insecurities and we're gonna go through our maybe deficiencies of like just not knowing, and it's okay, right? But God will help us like through this journey. Uh, I didn't grow up going to church. I was, I gave my heart to the Lord when I was 21, you know. So I I had no concept of what it was like or what it looked like to walk faith out in a home. I didn't. The what I did know was from church, right? So the podcast really encourages mothers to help them to minister to their children. And then on Fridays, I do a mini like devotional where I have the, you know, if the mother is with their children and how to walk through that devotional time together and give them some ideas of like what to do, like what activities to make it meaningful for the kids. So I absolutely love it. I love, I love doing it, love sharing on there. And, you know, and I was able to, yeah, that's pretty much that's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

Yeah, and you release new episodes, what, a couple times a week, I believe you told me?

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Yes, twice a week. Twice a week. So Mondays and Fridays. So Mondays are for moms. It made it easy for me. Monday for moms and then Friday for family, right? So they can come together as a family to do their devotional time. Or sometimes, you know, I've had people put on like reviews, like it's good for their kids to listen to because I kind of walk them through, like, okay, this is the scripture, like let's repeat the scripture together, you know, and what to do with that scripture. So kind of like breaking it down, helping them to study for the kids, you know.

SPEAKER_01 39:05

What a great ministry. Ten years ago, could you have ever believed that you would be doing this?

SPEAKER_00 39:13

Never in a million years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

Yeah, I would say this is the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Yes, I know.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

Yeah. But what a great ministry. And you know, I I just I love how if we when we and if we

Turning Pain Into A Children’s Podcast

SPEAKER_01 39:32

just give our our pain and suffering to the Lord in order to to help somebody else to be willing to be used, it is amazing how creative he is in doing that.

unknown 39:46

I know.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

Because, you know, the Bible says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. So I knew that I was, you know, I overcame by the blood. And, you know, I I walked that part out. And just one day, like two years ago, the Holy Spirit was like, okay, you did part of that scripture, but you got to do the other part. And I was like, wait, what? Like, you know, sometimes we're just like, I'm not, I don't know how to do this. I, but when we share our story, I realized that nobody can take that away from us. We can share Jesus through our and and our life of faith. Nobody can, nobody can convince me otherwise that what happened that day, that God wasn't, his hand wasn't on it. You know, I mean, you cannot unconvince me that that didn't happen. So just me sharing, you know, my story, I don't, yeah, that's part of, you know, our journey is sharing our story. Because sometimes we think, I don't know how to share Jesus. That's okay, share your story and what he did for you, you know.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

And boy, did you ever just share that and share Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Right. And and one more, I mean, and one more thing I just want to add is that shortly after, you know, we went through that miscarriage, this is another evident. I didn't realize I wanted to have another baby until that happened, you know? And and I just said, okay, I'm gonna fight back even harder. Because and then I started praying for another baby because I said, I didn't know I wanted one until it was taken. And a lot of times that's what we don't know. Like when something's missing, we're like, okay, I didn't know I needed that or wanted that thing, you know. So I'm like, okay. So I said, even better. So, you know what? Within a year and a half, so in 2017, so about, oh yeah. So nine years ago, almost to be exact, my daughter's gonna be nine this year. You know, we got pregnant again and it was a healthy, healthy baby. And when I say healthy,

A New Baby And Hope Forward

SPEAKER_00 41:41

she was almost 10 pounds.

SPEAKER_01 41:43

Oh, that is healthy.

SPEAKER_00 41:47

I mean, it was like what God did, you know, because I didn't know that I wanted that, but it built this desire within me. And God asked me, What do you want? And I was like, Yeah, I want a little girl. You know, I want to. I mean, not that I didn't want boys, but I got two already. You know, I'm like, okay, so I started, and I mean, honestly, she every she looks exactly like me. Really? I mean, just what God did, you know, and yeah. So even that with encouraging others, you know, that sometimes it burns a desire within our heart. Maybe we didn't know we wanted that, you know, or we didn't know we needed a child, or, you know, and sometimes might not happen that way. So I'm not saying that everybody's gonna happen in that same way where I was able to naturally concede, but God is gonna give us that vision, you know. Maybe we need to adopt, or whatever the route may be. He knows, you know, he knows like because I was up to the point where I was like telling him, we're gonna get, we're gonna like adopt the baby or something. I said, because I know we're supposed to have another baby.

SPEAKER_01 42:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

You know, and you know, and really truly so. I know that God puts those desires with us because he has more for us and he wants to restore our hearts. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 43:04

And he does, and he does it very uniquely for each one of us because we're all very uniquely designed by him. And some sometimes just when we're thinking, is God finished with me? Is this is this it? I want to rem uh Samantha and I both would want to remind you that God is still writing your story and He He will until the day He calls you home. So He's not finished with you, and He loves to give good gifts. And I love the scripture that says that God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. And that's if that's you today, just know that God sees you, He knows you, and He loves you. Samantha, what a treat it's been to have you as a guest on our podcast today. And to hear your story, to hear your testimony of God's goodness and what he's done in your life over the last 10 years, I think so many people are going to be encouraged and find a lot of hope in what you've shared today. So again, thank you for just taking time. Thank you for having the courage to step out into a public arena and share your story.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

Yes, thank you. What an honor. And I, you know, just want to encourage everyone out there that, like you said, you know, Greg, God is not done writing your story and he's gonna allow us to be pregnant in a sense of dreams and goals and like like how you podcasts, whatever, you know, we can be pregnant with the seed of whatever it is, and that's what he wants to do because, you know, we just we just never know through our pain and our crushing, he said that's that sweet smelling aroma. And it's through that crushing that God wants to use that, you know, for his glory. So yeah, I want to encourage everyone. So thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it for me to share.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

It's my privilege and thank you for sharing that. For our listeners, what an incredible story you've heard today from Samantha Watson. If you guys have any comments that you would like to leave about this conversation, you can find uh a link in Samantha's episode description where you can just leave a comment, you can share anything that you would like. We love to hear your feedback. So thank you for that. And we will look forward to connecting with you guys again in a couple of weeks.